"And there could be no reason 'cuz there are no reasons. What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why I don't like Mondays."-The Boomtown Rats

Twenty-six days until my vacation starts.

Twenty four days until I turn twenty-six.

(cash donations are gladly accepted)

That aside, 'sup peeps. Been a hell of a week, eh? Well, for me anyway. And I NEED a vacation (in case you didn't read the large print). Soon. Tomorrow, if possible. Summer's almost gone and I've done NOTHING. I live at work, I swear. I can't wait to not have to go for a week. Whatever shall I do with myself? Hmmm...

I started this week off where everyone wants to be first thing on a Monday. The bloody DMV. 'Cuz I lost my license. I don't know where, or when, but it's gone. And I needed it for reasons I'll explain later. So I got up earlier than usual today (by maybe fifteen minutes...hey, that's an accomplishment for me) and left the house with enough time to stop and hopefully not have to wait in line with thirty other sheep to get a duplicate copy. Yet when I reached the DMV, lo and behold, there was only one other person in front of me. How can this be? I filled out my application and still there was just me. I rubbed my eyes, looked again. Nope. Nobody. I approached the counter, handed the nice officer my money, read the fifth line on that crazy fucking eye machine ( remember, I had only been awake for approximately thirty minutes at this point), and walked out the door ten minutes later, new ID in hand. How impressed was I? Geez, I should get up early more often.

I hesitate to relay the story of WHY I needed a new ID so badly in the first place. I'm cringing as we speak at my stupidity. Remember that checking account I opened? Yeah. Got my debit card in the mail on Tuesday. It has tomatoes on it. I was pretty excited. I got up on Wednesday and called the credit union's automated system to see if my direct deposit and sure enough there was 100 dollars just waiting to fly out of the bank by way of my debit card.

But I was gonna behave, I swear. I just wanted twenty dollars for gas and cigarettes. Really! I used the ATM at the bank that's next to the Starbucks that's ten seconds from work to activate my card. I took the cash, I took the receipt. What didn't I take? The goddamn card. I'm an idiot. I stopped at Starbucks and got my coffee, got to work only five minutes late and only realized I din't have my card when I reached over to grab my wallet and card from the passenger seat.

So I sped back to the bank and explained the situation rather sheepishly to the teller. They extracted my card from the machine, all the while telling me how THE POLICY requires them to cut it up due to it being a card from a "foreign" bank. But it must have been my LUCKY day, 'cuz they agreed amongst each other that they could "sign off" on the form and give me my card back. Why thanks, kind old hag bank teller. How sweet of you. She asked for my ID and when I opened my wallet IT WAS GONE. I went to my car. Not there. So I had to beg them to believe me. They didn't.

So I got to work twenty minutes late and fuming. I called those ladies some really bad names let me tell you. But I was cursing myself, too. ONE DAY! That's all it took for me to lose the damn card. And on top of that, the only time I ever really need my ID (I don't even get carded at the bar that often anymore) I friggin lose that, too.

So I stewed all day Wednesday about it, and went back to the bank on Thursday before work with anything I could find that had my name or address on it to prove it was my card. No dice. And more attitude. I left the bank seeing flames behind my eyeballs and ready to explode.

But I got it back. And I'm thankful at least for that.